just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
