508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
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