and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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