dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
we're chasing vodka with high fives
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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