I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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