Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
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