I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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