he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
