some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
