He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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