It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
there's paper in my vomit.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
