It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
