Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize