Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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