At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
