Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
They have beer where we have blood.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
