dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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