i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
