I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Couch. On fire.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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