And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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