Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
