I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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