mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
