My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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