Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
