So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
