the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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