Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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