well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Randomize
