stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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