That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
