Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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