i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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