This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize