party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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