Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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