@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Randomize
