Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
