I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
