no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
he thought i was a dude.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
