I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
So squirting runs in the family.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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