Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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