im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
