Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
