if you like me you must not know who I am
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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