This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
