There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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