yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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