Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
