Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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