ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
