You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
