C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
