So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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