If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
