I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
