Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize