I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
