Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
