So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
he was CRYING into my vagina
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
