Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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