My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
