Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize